now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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