she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
