he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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