come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
