He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
