so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
