By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
