I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
