they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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