Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
