Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
