I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
