New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
