I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
