Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
