You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
