Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
