my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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