I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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