I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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