my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Maybe he injected his testicle?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
