I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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