oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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