Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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