I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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