i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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