please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
