so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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