problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
