I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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