I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
