Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
