Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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