Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
