dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
