well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
