So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Randomize
