haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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