How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
