alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
