I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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