i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The best revenge is premature balding
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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