Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
