You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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