lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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