She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
