he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
