READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
