The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think i have herpe
just one?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize