Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
