im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
handjob tips. give me some.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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