I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
